Zitat von Vedanta am 18. Mai 2018, 11:41 Uhr

Be Selfish – What Else?
HH Shri Satyanarayana Dasa Babaji Maharaja
Transcript of "Hinduism" Part 22, Questions & Answers part

QUESTION

I was wondering how we can have meaningful relationships which aren't subconsciously selfish. Because this explanation is coming that whatever we doing, whatever relationship we are established in is actually for the self only. So how do we with this information actually engage in a relationship that's meaningful, and not just for the selfishness?

ANSWER

Selfishness is not bad if you understand what is self. The problem is that we are misunderstanding what is self and then selfishness becomes a bad word. We say, "oh I this fellow is very selfish". But what else can you be? You cannot be anything else but selfish - because you are a self.

Like if there is an apple, the apple will be appleish! [laughing in the audience]. Yes, you cannot think of an apple being tomatoeish, that will be fake or deceptive. So we are self and we cannot be anything else but selfish. The problem why selfishness is considered as bad is because we are misidentifying ourselves with the body which is not our self. And when we misidentify with the body as our self then problems come. Then the relationships are trying to serve the body which itself is a mistake. Then everything becomes rooted in this misidentification. Then your relationship is rooted in misidentification. So you have started on a wrong foot. And then after that what you do is going to reflect that mistake, sooner or later. But if you realize that you are self, separate from the body, and then you have relationship, then you can be selfish, no problem, that's good. Because then you will know that the other person is also self and not this body.

The real relationship is when we understand that all these selves are part of one big self, Superself. Then all these relations can be self-serving in a good sense. Otherwise we are trying to serve the body, which we are not. Because all we are doing is we are serving the body. And then we try to use others to serve my body. Whatever you do, whether you try to be happy, enjoy ... you are trying to serve the body which you are not. So that is the fundamental mistake in our understanding. And because of that fundamental mistake everything else becomes wrong. It's like if you are adding certain numbers, and you make the mistake in adding the first two numbers, then your sum is going to be wrong even if you add the rest of the numbers properly. It is still going to be wrong, because all our relationships are based on this misidentification with the body, then everything else what follows from that does not function properly. But if you can relate understanding this difference between the self and the body then there will be no problem. You can still relate, it's not that you don't have to relate.

It's like you are not the car and you are relating with people seeing their car. Say if somebody has Toyota and you too have Toyota, you make friends with this guy. Not because of anything else, just because he is also having a Toyota. So the Toyotaites get together and have a party. But they are not Toyotas, you know [Babaji laughs]. So they will have sooner or later differences, troubles will come, because Toyota is not the basis for a relationship. Something like that.

Because the self in you, self in her, self in him, they are all of same character, you can't discriminate. You cannot say this self is better than that self, no, it's not. And each one is related to God. The you will see that the distinctions are only at the physical level, not at the spiritual level, not at the level of soul or self. At that level we are all equal, which we are trying to strive.

People are talking about equality, right? "Man and woman are equal". It does not matter how much you say it – they are not equal. Man is man, woman is woman. They have different functions, different biology, different psychology. But at the level of soul, man and woman are equal, completely equal. So you can try to bring artificial equality, but that will be artificial. You can have political equality, that's fine, man and woman should have equal political rights, no problem. But biologically you cannot make them equal.

Just like I have five fingers, or four fingers and a thumb, they are not equal. Now if you cut them and make them equal, then it won't function properly. It will look very ugly also. The beauty is also there because of variety and differences. But we should not become biased by that. Now if I start saying that, "well this finger is bigger than the others, so I love this finger more than this finger", that is a problem. No, I understand "this is bigger, this is smaller; this has a function and the other also has a function, both have a function". And one amongst them has maybe more capability, probably the thumb is more useful than any of these fingers. But that does not mean that if this finger has a problem, I don't take care for it, I don't go to the doctor. "Only when thumb is having trouble then I go to the doctor" because he is favored [laughing in the audience].

So this biasness should not be there, whether somebody is a man or woman, but we should respect both and recognize the ability of both of them. But if you try to artificially make one equal to the other, then that will create another problem. In fact, that will become a quite stressful situation, because then you are not being selfish. You are not being what you are. Now you are trying to wear someone else's shoe – which will hurt your feet.

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